Fall
by Vesper Rose
Summary: It happened over a year ago, but it wasn't what he had made it seem once. He didn't suffer from losing his humanity. He suffered from loneliness. And even that, he was okay with.


AN: So I have no idea what this is. It's just some more gibberish. Some pretty dark gibberish, but gibberish nonetheless. Sorry if I've been pretty heavy on the angst/hurt-comfort thing. I only write things that are in tune to my feelings. Eep. D: Oh, and sorry about everything being so short! I, myself, like long chapters/one-shots, but I'm working up to that again. D;

Again, since I haven't written in a while, there may be some grammatical errors and the like. ^^; Do forgive me.

I rated this M because of a certain scene (that's not a lemon) so... -coughs- I just didn't see it fitting under the T rating...

Please enjoy (as best as you can ^^;) and PM me if you're confused about anything! Or something...

* * *

He wasn't suffering. It wasn't as bad as he'd made it seem long ago.

Still, part of him was suffering – fighting.

But he wasn't suffering.

It was quite the opposite actually, he was _enjoying_ it. Both parts of him (although one part was still trying to deny it) were happy. After all, it wasn't like they had just brought him humans (this was only time that Zero was unhappy with his situation and sulked after berating himself while contemplating suicide), no, they'd bring him vampires as well. Lower level vampires like Ds that were steadily degrading and no longer had any fight in them or Level Cs that made the fight absolutely worthwhile.

In the hidden cellar, just below any civilization, Zero found that he found satisfaction in others' pain. He found that killing his prey slowly, gruesomely, was the most fun he could have. He was rather surprised to learn that it just wasn't his vampire nature that made him feel that way – his hunter side definitely found joy in it (when it came to vampires, of course).

He briefly wondered what time it was, if it was time for him to eat. His throat burned and he fought with all his strength to keep from clawing at it. He'd done that one time and he was severely punished for it. His crimson gaze traveled about the dark, empty room resting on a metal hatch in the ceiling. That was where they tossed his food to him. They didn't even bother coming through the metal door in the wall beside him. It wasn't as if they had to stand in the room with him – there were bars behind the door, all they had to do was stand in the hall.

Even if he was happy, he was still lonely. But he knew he was a threat to everyone else.

It a small bout of anger, Zero growled lunging off of the mattress he was sitting on. He lifted it and tossed it across the room, extending his claws to shred the back. He kicked, hissed, and sliced. He didn't stop until a wave of hunger forced him to his knees, clutching his chest. The ache in his throat heightened, causing Zero's shallow breathing to hitch. His fangs were fully elongated now and he bit into his lip to keep from whimpering. But it didn't help.

Thuds filled his ears and it took him a moment to realize what it was. The ex-human moved to the corner, hiding himself in the shadows. A body fell through the metal hatch and into the room. Their scent ravaged Zero's nose, making him drool.

It was a human. His hunter instincts (as weak as they were) told him not to attack, tried to keep him from attacking, but his vampire instincts were far too powerful now. She was already dead anyway, he didn't see the point in not taking advantage of it. But he still wanted to play with it.

Zero moved closer to the still warm body (she must have just recently died…or murdered, but he didn't care about that now), poking at it with his claws. He released a raspy – _sinister_ – shriek of laughter before picking her up and tossing her across the room, much like the mattress. He giggled again when he heard her bones shatter and he dashed toward her, sinking his claws into her flesh and dragging it down, humming happily.

He continued toying with her until he grew bored, sinking his fangs deep into her neck and drinking her dry. He tossed the corpse into another hatch on the ground and began licking his hands and arms clean of her blood.

"Tsk, tsk, tsk."

Zero stiffened. He'd been so caught up in his meal that he hadn't noticed another presence. He whipped toward the metal door that was now open. He blinked rapidly.

"K-Ka-name," Zero rasped, wincing at his own double-edged voice. How long had it been since he last visited him? A month? Six? A year?

"Hasn't anyone ever told you not to play with your food, Zero?" Kaname leaned against the threshold, arms folded across his chest. A small smile played onto his lips. "Or have you forgotten etiquette?"

The ex-human stood, shuffling toward the door. The pureblood didn't move, even when Zero took hold of the bars. "Ka-Kaname," he repeated, reaching through the bars to press his hand to the pureblood's chest.

Kaname's gaze softened as he grasped Zero's hand. He brought it to his lips, brushing the against the ex-human's knuckles. "I missed you. I'm sorry for not returning sooner."

Zero shook his head, "W-why?"

The pureblood released Zero's hand, pressing into it when it caressed his cheek. His claws still hadn't retracted, so Zero was doing it as gently as possible, but even then he'd nicked Kaname's cheek. He instantly retracted his hand and backed away from the door, another wave of hunger rushing through him.

Kaname frowned. "It's been more than a year since you've fallen, Zero. But somehow, for reasons I don't understand, you've maintained a small part of your humanity. How?"

The ex-human didn't respond; he shook his head, gripping his head tightly. A throbbing pain ripped through his skull and he shut his eyes tightly. "W-why? W-hy w-hy w-hy?" He repeated over and over.

"Come here, Zero," Kaname commanded, holding his hand out to him through the bars.

Zero looked up at him, blinking as he fought his hunger. Kaname hadn't wiped the blood away from his cheek. He shook his head.

"Come here," he repeated, firmer this time – using his authority as a pureblood.

The ex-human's body reacted on its own. He moved toward the door again, completely transfixed with the small spot of blood on the pureblood's cheek. He grabbed his hand, allowing Kaname to pull him closer because he couldn't move on his own anymore. Kaname put his face as close to the bars as possible, his head tilted toward them slightly so that his cheek was reachable. "Lick it," he commanded and Zero did.

It was so sweet, so pure. Unlike any of the food he was given, and Zero wanted more. His lips quivered for more.

Kaname let go of Zero's hand, undoing the buttons of his uniforms cuff, pushing it up to his elbow. He held his wrist to Zero's lips. "Drink."

And Zero did, groaning as he gripped the pureblood's arm tighter. He didn't take much though; he didn't want to push it. Kaname's blood always made him worse. He'd never want anything after he'd take some and he'd end up starving himself until he couldn't handle it anymore.

When he was done, he stared into Kaname's wine orbs, flinching inwardly at the sadness they held. Zero was hurting him – _had been_ hurting him.

"W-hy," he started, "d-don-t y-ou k-k-ill m-e?" He pushed Kaname's arm away, gripping his uniform and shaking him violently. "W-hy w-hy? W-hy l-le-ave m-e he-re?" He swallowed a broken sob, feeling the tears slide down his cheeks, but never remembering them fall in the first place.

The shaking didn't stir Kaname a bit. "Zero, Zero, Zero," he sighed, wrapping his hands around Zero's arms gently. "Calm down, Zero!"

Zero stopped shaking him, but he didn't stop crying. "W-hy?" He repeated.

The pureblood took a moment to collect himself before he pulled Zero into a warm embrace (or the closest thing to an embrace that he could manage through the bars), entangling his fingers in Zero's silver locks. "I'm sorry, I can't do that." He whispered against the ex-human's ear. "Because I'm selfish I can't do that – I can't grant you that wish."

Zero caught his breath. The pureblood's answer shouldn't have surprised him. It wasn't like they had this same conversation every time Kaname visited. But he was always surprised that Kaname still even felt that way about him. That he still felt even a shred of hope for keeping Zero alive.

"I love you, Zero, you know that."

Zero nodded, nuzzling his face into Kaname's neck. He'd have to memorize his scent again. It was the only thing that kept him going.

* * *

When Kaname left, Zero was surrounded by loneliness again. He was the only one who bothered to visit him. He was the only one he loved now.

But Zero wasn't suffering.

He was just fine.


End file.
